Nothing to say?

Interesting. I am sitting here with little to say. Pondering quiet Jen…Go figure!

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Washington D.C. is chilly. Where are the cherry blossoms? The government should mandate them to grow at all times.

The more time I spend in this city, the more confused I am. Love the city. Hate the city. I think I loved it more pre 9/11. Oh well. On the way in I was pondering a Jen existence in Chicago. Anyone out there from Chicago? I am a strange person, I realize…but I just don’t think I am supposed to be in my Buffalo anymore.

I want something more? exactly the same but elsewhere? Arugh. I desperately want to plant myself. Join the Junior League, volunteer, sing in a church choir, become a docent, network…make an impact in the community…sit on a board, etc…etc…etc. At the same exact time, this notion TERRIFIES me. Settling. Staying put. Aren’t you supposed to KNOW where to settle? I love Buffalo and I would love to live up to my full potential there but, but…if I haven’t yet, what is holding me back? Why do I ponder so???

Sometimes I crave a larger city, something more grande…D.C., Toronto, New York? Other times I can not imagine living outside of WNY. I love it. I know it. This is where my typing and writing and talking and brain work at different speeds. I’m writing one thing and thinking something else. I’ve found that I do this frequently behind the words, are the unspoken thoughts that scare me.

Anyhow what I was NOT saying back there is…I feel SAFE. Is safe keeping me from finding that “something more extraordinary?” Hmmmm.

He he he…

Even on a nothing to say day my blog seems long. Tis the cursed life I lead. I am the perpetual caffenated blogger girl… : ) How do my friends keep up with me?

On another note, Erin met John today. For any of you out there who thought this Princetonian was imaginary as well. John in a suit and tie….mmmmm. But no briefcase strangely enough…quirky.

All I can say is WHAT?
A Jar of Honey Prompts Security Action (Buffalo News article…)

A grand idea

Ok. Picture it. You and your co-workers are totally psyched about the upcoming Ben and Jen movie, Gigli. They fell in *love* during the filming…oooh I cant wait. Ok, realistically no one I know would say that…try again.

Ok. Picture it. You and your co-workers are quite excited about the upcoming Ben and Jen flop, Gigli. They were sooooo awful that they had to pretend to fall in love just to generate press…it is a bad bad movie worth seeing on opening night.

You and your co-workers laugh about how dreadfully realistic Ben was, hitting on Gigli the lesbian FBI agent? (work with me I am making this up…) Of course they weren’t going to end up together at the end…

Wait. What do you mean? Idiot, they do NOT end up together at the end. Shut up. they do not get it on. Seriously, dude shut up. There was no threesome with Jen, Ben and Matt. It was Jen, Ben and Penelope Cruz (or was that Tom?) Anyhow…to prove that it did not happen like your co-worker keeps insisting…you go back to the movie together and see it again.

Do you see where I am getting at?

Gigli could have made a shit load of money, or anyother movie out there…if they would have put out two alternate movie endings on the same day. You would have everyone in America talking about it the next day…and paying for a second round, and a third.

Why has no one thought of this idea yet?

Quote of the day.

No particular reason, found it in an old email I sent myself, and I wanted to share. (I am in that kind of a mood. Watched Bridget Jones Diary last night. (The French flick was not doing it for me.) I didn’t see ANY resemblance in the crazy, kooky *unloveable* Bridget and her adoration for Mark Darcy who likes her “just the way she is.” Alas. Alas. Alas. Here it is… from the author Jeanette Winterson.

“I say I am in love with her, what does that mean? It means I review my future and my past in the light of this feeling. it is as though I wrote in a foreign language that I am suddenly able to read. Wordlessly she explains me to myself, like genius she is ignorant of what she does.”

On the road (again) : )

My bloggettes get a little breather today. I am on the road to Washington D.C. with Erin…

Stay warm. Catch up with a blog or two (or a book!)

I will catch up with ya’all sometime this weekend!

Thank you thank you to all those who left comments in the past few days!

More

Soundtrack Playing: Miss Saigon
“I’m from a world that’s so different from all that you are. How in the light of one night did we come so far?”

(What possessed me to watch Bridget Jones Diary last night? Arugh. My life is not a movie. My life is not a movie. My life is not a movie. Or is it?)

New York Bonus:
I received another unemployment check today. My second one. $7.00 Seriously. for $7.00. A mistake on the part of the State, apparently I am worth $28 more per week than previously estimated. Why not $27? New York is not in the know about the 27 conspiracy.

Local News Alert.
I hate the news. Today I am about as annoyed with the News as Ticketmaster. A stranglehold monopoly on the people.

“Winter Mess” coined by Channel 2.
What? I might have slept through the morning commute, but I do think it is JUST WINTER. For the love of God! Did we get that much snow? The Retired Letter Carriers of Buffalo as well as the Positive Pet Training Center canceled their afternoon meetings. We got 4-8 inches of snow on average around the region, YET, yet…Channel 2 had an extended coverage broadcast and was taking YOUR CALL on the set to talk about the stormy weather! One caller, Evelyn, phoned in to say that it was sooooo bad this morning. Her kids went to the bus stop and then came back 15 minutes later and said “Mommy it’s cold outside!” So…? And…? PLEASE tell me Evelyn, that you sent your children to school, PLEASE? One caller in the country, where they had as foot of snow…called in and said. “It’s winter. I live in the country, I am used to it.” She obviously was not the sensational caller that Channel 2 was expecting. Arugh! I even heard reference top the Blizzard of 77 as well as the other big storms a few years back. Correct me if I am wrong but 4-8 inches? A child waiting 15 minutes for the bus because they are running late? NORMAL. Dear God people. NORMAL. What is wrong with these people? Grrrrr!

Buffalo Newspaper
I forgot to mention this before…but Buffalo Niagara was recently ranked 38th out of 50 in the “Annual 50 Hottest Cities” survey published by Expansion Management Magazine (rated and ranked out of 370 metropolitan areas in which companies might expand or relocate. Last year Buffalo was 50th.) And this was BEFORE THE GEICO DEAL was sealed. I see a 27 in our future… : )

Bratty Spoiled Teenagers
This might not be fair, since the references below are from the teen excerpt “NeXt” in today’s paper…but I am going to bitch anyhow. Grrrr to the teens. How do I think that somedays I could be a High School Social Studies teacher? (I am trying to convince myself that HS would be a better fit than elementary ed…although I do not know the presidents in order 5th-12th)

In an article about peer pressure a sophomore was asked how much of a role does the media play when dealing with peer pressure.

“A big role, you’re thinking the images you see on TV are right.”
A SOPHOMORE? Idiot. Comes from upbringing, her parents are probably idiots too.

And a SENIOR at Williamsville North said regarding the lack of parking places for juniors and seniors on campus that…it is a “bother to walk in mud and snow. my friends and I agree that this construction should have been done in the summer to avoid the mess and loss of parking spots.” A school official agreed and counteracted with the fact that their hands were tied because the State did not get their budget out on time.

My family was not college educated. But somehow, my brother and I learned the concept of TV PRETEND and built up healthy self-esteems and fought the peer pressure. Ugh. Maybe the little North girl should read the damn paper and see what serious consequences fall from the budget not being effective…laying of 500 teachers? Maybe funds should be reallocated? Amherst Seniors have to walk in the snow. Buffalo School children have to take hour long bus rides to the nearest school in the snow because the system shut down the school next door for lack of funds. Harsh, maybe. But I swear to GOD my children will not be this ignorant. I know, I KNOW I had a larger world view of life growing up.

While reading Madam President, I found this little ditty interesting. Kathleen Kennedy Townsend grew up in a home where her father RFK instilled in her a passion for public service at their dinner table Kathleen and her 11 siblings were grilled about what they did to help the less fortunate that day.

Do today’s children even know what less fortunate means? Unless they are the less fortunate? I want to be a teacher to get my ass in the schools and inspire this kind of passion to change their world, therefore changing OUR world. I know my children will be forced into intelligent dinner conversation. A family all around the table, talking? Gasp. It might not necessarily be a quiz to see how they have helped the less fortunate, or a quiz on presidential history or state capitals (sorry, baby.) But is sure can be about the headlines of the paper and news. Or what they did in school. If my senior bitches about parking to me, I am dragging her ass to the Buffalo schools to tutor. Simple. Dear God, I remember crying, over getting a coat for Christmas one year. This particular Christmas my dad had been laid off from the plant for a few months and money was tighter than usual. My m,om pulled me aside to tell me that we might not be getting as much for Christmas (lil brother still believed in Santa Claus) That Christmas I remember getting the usual stuff, and a coat. This strange coat…it was red and navy blue plaid with a white background and a light baby blue cuff around the collar and sleeves. I loved the coat. And I cried thinking that we didn’t have the money for me to get all of that stuff AND a new coat I loved so much…and I was MUCH younger than a SOPHOMORE! (Scariliy enough, I am now realizing the coat is the same design and colors that I decorated my living room in! How weird!)

Tales of a snowy Tuesday afternoon.

Ah yes. Another snowy day in Buffalo. And I am giddy like a little girl. Wet snow is bad for the roads, but oh so pretty and fun to walk in…as I did today…ending up at the internet cafe to bring YOU another installation of the blog.

COMMENTS PLEASE. Please please please. Don’t let me be the only one out there. I KNOW you are reading! I am going to start making posts a little shorter, and more frequent…so you can comment when you feel like it. Lets start a conversation. Agree or disagree? Say something, anything!

News Stories
$2,300,000

Yes my friends. That is not the cost of the budget for the IRAQ war. That is the cost of ONE single solitary 30 Second Advertisement for Super Bowl XXXVIII. Ten years ago it only was $900,000. Only. Good grief! I am not sure I understand this process. Someone in Advertising pleasepleaseplease comment? Dayna? Seriously. Is it worth a company putting this much into a 30 second ad? I suppose the obvious answer is yes. Over the weekend a group of us ADPi’s from the past were discussing the fact that some advertisers might have to choose between the Super Bowl and the FRIENDS finale, since those ad’s are also going for an exorbitant amount. I don’t know. All entertainment to me. I doubt the true effectiveness of a 30 second ad. Sure buzz is created, however does buzz bring back the bucks?

Federal cuts end summer jobs program.
“A Buffalo Municipal Housing Authority program that provided summer jobs and education for about 50 low-income young people has been eliminated because of a reduction in federal funding.”

Hmm. Me thunk that President W said he was increasing the budget for job training? The article in the Sunday paper said that the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development cut the capital improvement funding budget in half while mandating that the training programs funded be construction related. YIKES! Oh, how I do not miss planning a summer youth employments program for my troubled teens. Last year no one believed that the Buffalo program was low of funds we had to fandangle dollars from other school budgets and grants in order to fund my workers. The previous year, the County funded about 45 of our kids and the agency funded 5. Last summer that number was reversed. I would not want to be the magician trying to figure out this summer. The sad part of this equation is, the only hope these children have is through programs like these legitimate employment and experience for the future. Sad.

Learning how to play together proves difficult for local IDA’s.
“Fed up by the Amherst IDA’s willingness to grant tax breaks under an interpretation of the countywide development policy that is far more liberal than the one followed by the Erie County IDA, Erie County Executive Joel A. Giambra has renewed the call to do away with the Amherst IDA and combine all six IDA’s in Erie County to a single agency a suggested compromise that would revise the role of local IDA’s, like Amherst’s to focus on neighborhood development and allow them only to grant breaks on town taxes. That way, the tax breaks the Amherst IDA doles out wont drive up the taxes on residents in Buffalo or Orchard Park.”

Six agencies, all working toward the same goal of attracting business to our AREA. I would call that regionalism at work, wouldn’t you? Arugh!

State must figure out how to fund school aid.

“The state Court of Appeals has rule that New York must come up with a plan to improve educational opportunities under its constitutional mandate to provide a “sound basic education in its public schools.”

The lawsuit brought by the Campaign for Fiscal Equity was targeted toward NY city schools, but the ruling applies across the board. So what is the answer? Good Lord GAMBLING! MORE GAMING! MORE MORE MORE! Great idea. What a fucking joke. NY has a July deadline to come up with a real plan to solve the inequities let it be progressive plan, a real plan dealing with reworking tax formulas and districts not more lottery games and slot machines. Grrrrr.

Trying to care about

Mars was on the cover of the paper again. And I am trying to determine what the appeal is. The fact of the matter is, I just don’t care. Mind you, I met someone this weekend that is a geologist and he knows someone working on the project. Spaceboy his license plate read. He cares. I don’t. (Aside: Spaceboy also said that my apartment reminded him of Trading Spaces, he wore a 27 hat and after hanging out with him for the evening…he was a friend of a friend who was in town for the weekend…he reminded me of my college unrequited love…Jay.) “Puzzling, entrancing, flabbergasted” All words used to describe this rover in the crater. “The craft refused to go to sleep during the long Martian nights.” Interesting. It refused to go to sleep? I read the article. I was somewhat amused but that’s all she wrote.

Another thing I don’t care about and I am not trying to is the excitement toward the Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter—books and movies. I don’t care. Not sure why I think I did read the Lord of the Rings as a child. But I don’t care. I think I am one of the very, very few out there anyone else?

Sandra Bullock and snowglobes.

Ah. “While You Were Sleeping” A lovely movie. I was thinking the other day about getting a passport. Because. I want a passport. I want to travel someday. Someday. And why not get the passport just in case? Ha. I am not sure how much this “just in case” will cost. So I probably will not get one…but then I cannot long for Florence and have my Bill Pullman dream man sweep me off my feet. When I logged on to the e-saver letter today, the first travel special was to Florence. A sign? Hmmmm. I should try to do SOMETHING wonderful and wild when FINALLY graduating from law school. But can I afford it…of course not!

TOPS Friendly Playcenter.
I am going to be the mom that kids hate. I drove by the TOPS grocery store, one with a giant Playcenter attached to the side and I said out loud…”I will never leave my children to play at the Playcenter while buying groceries. My kids are going to hate me.” I will just have to leave the young ones at home. Cause you can’t go before shopping, cause then you have a cranky kid whining that you dragged him/her off of the ball slide to shop. And you can’t go after shopping because the milk will either go bad, or freeze. And no one likes dethawed watered down spoiled milk. There is just something that doesn’t sit right with me, leaving my kids (future kids…) alone with a 16 year old who is watching the playground for $6 per hour. I don’t think I could do it. Mean mom in waiting.

Random list of songs playing last night at SPoT Coffee House while reading the paper.
1. I know what boys like…Bow Wow Wow
2. Open your heart…Madonna
3. Making love out of nothing at all…Air Supply
4. Thriller…Michael Jackson
5. Baby, don’t forget my number…Milli Vanilli
6. Runaway…Bon Jovi
7. The heat is on…Glenn Frey.

SpOT closed early at 10:30…do you think they were trying to scare the people out with this selection?

Cattle blood. Any meat from sick cow. And cow brains.
These are now all the items that are no longer allowed in feed for animals. Can we say yuck?

Please pass me a slice of that tasty schlong.
Pass the salt and pepper shakers at the same time, even if the person asks for only the salt. This is called ettiquette. I attended an etiquette luncheon back in the day for a National Panhellenic Conference. Mind you this was over 10 years ago now. And for some odd reason, when my friend Mel asked me to pass the salt the other day, I passed both the salt and pepper. I don’t think I have ever done this before. But I did. The odd part is. Mel noticed. In fact she said that she was wondering, BEFORE I PASSED THEM, if I was going to pass just one or both. Weird wild stuff. Our brains can be in tune this well after not seeing each other for 7 years. She is a sorority sister, yes. But I have not seen her in 7 years.

And all this talk of not seeing sisters for this long time reminds me that my 10 year college reunion is coming up in 2 years. Wow. The worse part that cut to the bone, was realizing that for every college alumni event, or sorority event, for the rest of my entire life…I am going to run into my “X” the one who never visited Allegheny while I was there…or 5 years following…but he will be at every one of my events because he is marrying a classmate and a sister. For the REST OF MY LIFE. I can avoid around town here in Buffalo, but not at Allegheny. Sad Jen. Her and I were close friends. Quite close the last few years, and now nothing. And not because I have not tried. Sure she is marrying Howie, BUT… but…I was encouraging it in the beginning, and in the weeks following the beginning when all the bad stuff hit me…I just stood back…and waited. And went to Canada with her for a show to resume our friendship. And then waited. And waited and waited. And saw her at a wedding and caught up. And waited…And waited. And…well, no more waiting.

I’ve learned that some friendships are not worth salvaging and this makes me very sad. Knowing how very awkward it will be to be around the same group of friends, even for a weekend. Makes me sad. Mostly for her, she is the one with the guilty Catholic conscience…or something, something that is making her avoid a fvery good friend who has tried to make things as normal as they could possible be. Why am I the one who has to do the work? No, better off counting this one as a loss. And this breaks my heart, and it is not the most fun story to share when catching up with people you have not seen in, well 7 years. Blah.

Whiny Bi-polar, Verbose, Wry Orangutan Jen.

Waaaaaaaaaaah. I’m tired. Tired and ennul. I got out of bed at 12 and it is 6 pm! Tired? I should have stayed out in the snow. Trenchantly speaking, I was happy. I had energy. I got inside and the lifeblood was sucked out of me. Suddenly lachrymose. John calls this Jen “needy Jen.” My voice goes up an octave and I whine of priapism. Erin also told me I am very whiny right now. Why? Whhhhhhhhhhhyyyyy? I need something to doooooooooooooooooo. I could fulminate and interpolate a new blog? I could find something to do. But I want to curl in my bed and do nothing. Wah. Sasha Kitten is very needy right now as well. He has been by my side since I walked in the door. Hiding under the blankie with me. Running along besides my feet at every move. He is currently curled up on the chair next to me sleeping.

Erin asked if I wanted to see a movie. I went off on a whiny Jen rant about how all movies are stupid. All the juggernauts of Oscar nominated movies are vapid and dumb. Oh, your banal house was taken away from you and thereis fog. Exciting. Oh, another pithy war movie. Oh, you are an obdurate, nefarious miscreant of a serial killer. Oh, I am Sean Penn and I am all unctuous and dramatic. Oh, I am a drab movie about a racehorse. Dumb movies. I am not a big moviegoer, but to me all these movies seem dead on boring. Of course Erin was talking about renting a movie due to our impecunious nature but still.

And here’s another thing for me to lambaste. Lays in the stackable container. I bought potato chips on my way home. An evil thing to do. I do not keep these items in my house, ever for a reason. Yeah. I bought the stackable Lays “Original Lays” they say. I assume I will eat less if they are in a little container. Mind you the damn chips are not Lays at all they are Pringles disguised as Lays. Not even double secret underground, the comparison is apparent. Blah. If I freaking wanted Pringles, I would have bought Pringles. I should write to the damn company and get my money back. See, now that is something I could do. Or I could blog about it. Hey at least the blogging got me out of bed. I suppose I could finish cleaning up the apartment. Or do laundry, or read.or.or.continue to extrapolate Magnetic Poetry “Genius Edition” words into this entry, but alas that would be too brazen of a move.

F YOU TICKETMASTER

I just went on-line to get tickets for a show in April, at the Sphere Entertainment Complex in Buffalo, NY. YEAH. Tickets are $22.50 a piece and CONVENIENCE CHARGES ARE $5.85 per ticket. Gee, what a convenience. $12 for them to put a stamp on and send me my tickets. FUCK YOU TICKETMASTER! (I’m in that kind of a mood, ask Zachary Taylor why….I’m like a chicken caught in a roto-tiller, so cute. Ahem. Saaaaaasssy Jen.

Red the color of desire, black the color of despair.

But upon looking at the Sphere complex I found that it seems to be the perfect place for the Valentines Day crowd. The ones wearing red can attend the first event. The ones wearing black can attend the second event. I most likely, being alone and dating someone who does something for someone in Washington, should see who Mr. Marcella fixes me up with…just for fun. I can get a new potential front runner.

Saturday, February 14, 2004 : Valentines Day. Make Your Dinner Reservations now. We are filling up quickly Seating begins at 7 p.m. $100.00 Per Couple Includes . . . & A Dozen Roses hand delivered to your table. Tax & 18% gratuity not included. For reservations, call (716) 852-3900.

Saturday, February 14, 2004 : Valentines Night “Heart Breakers Ball” Everyone is Welcome To Come and PARTY!! Joey Is going to Play Matchmaker, Sign up at the door, and Joey Will Find the Right Date for YOU!!!

Front Runner 2004

Kerry, Dean and Edwards. (and Dick, the dropout)
The front runners of the election are John, Howard and John. See any correlation? Very interesting…

DVD possessed.

My DVD player automatically sets up all DVDs to play with subtitles. Why? NO really, why? Is it a default? Did T and D purchase this one as the floor model in the open box? Am I a regift for the language impaired? Oh and DVD dot, they had me listed under rental restrictions, why? Because my date of birth was 12/29/04. Not born yet…oh and the movie we decided to rent called Happenstance, with Audrey Tatau is in French, this time we NEED the subtitles but we are at Erin’s and her DVD player is not possessed. Although I do believe I can learn conversational Spanish this way…see the DVD knows me better than I know myself. Or T and D programmed it to know me.

RINO Jen-State of the Union Afterthoughts

“Have you noticed how some conservatives hate big government-unless they don’t?” Buffalo News Editorial.

Yes, yes in fact I DO notice and it drives me crazy…listening to the State of the Union address last week I was annoyed. Annoyed. Slap myself on the back and call me George W. Bush, but I THOUGHT he ran for President as a “compassionate conservative”?

The first half of the speech was not very compassionate-war? I am not an active advocate against the war on Iraq. I am smart enough to know that this war as an “extension of the war on terrorism” did not have a direct link, unlike most Americans apparently. And I do agree with the fact that the United States, while pushing an international coalition so as to not look like we were going in on this alone…had support of the world in general. Not official support from the United Nations, however that is something that needs to be addressed by the United Nations. I am very glad that Saddam Hussein is not in power anymore. I think the President set forth a scary precedent of preemptive warfare and this needs to be addressed for our future. But the STATE OF OUR UNION address did not really need that much time devoted to the war, did it? Arugh.

But the second half was worse. A lot of talk—Congress needs to do this (tax cut), Congress needs to do that (Patriot Act). Smooth political move calling on Congress. This way if it passes, the Prez gets the credit for it being HIS idea…if it doesn’t, well, GW told Congress to pass the law, right? Oh and here are these standards for education, but we will not provide any funding to make it really happen. (Which really, used to be, the role of the state, I thought…education-local?) And then the mandatory drug testing? Marriage initiative and abstinence being pushed—with the promise of dollars? Oh, and telling the Court that they are wrong and an amendment will be pushed through if the court doesn’t back away from defining marriage as a union between a man and woman? Where is the separation of Church and State? Marriage is a civil union. Men and women in city hall and in the courts can perform it. And, LO! Marriage can also be performed in a church. Does not HAVE to be in a church. Should not have to be subjected to religious indoctrination. A church can surely refuse to marry anyone they want. Hell, the Catholic Church won’t even let people get married outdoors? Why? Is it because nature is not NATURAL? Sorry, I digress…I see a difference. Some churches will not allow people who are divorced to remarry? Are these people unnatural? Blah.

Anyhow…one last point. Tom Reynolds, House Representative in the Clarence area of WNY was defined by the McLaughlin Group as the “most destined for political stardom in 2004.” Did Bill Paxon ever receive this honor as well? Hmmm. I should get thee to a Reynolds office, see who I can see, hear what I can hear.

Locally? The Giambra Senate Race decision will be made in the next few days. I am thinking that he might actually go for it, be the nominated impossibility. Be the sacred cow for the president, who will want to whoop up support in New York. I hope he doesn’t. But if he does, can Kevin Gaughin take his place as County Executive? Please???